Asking for your guidance...

Posted by: KYote

Asking for your guidance... - 12/08/19 11:15 PM

Although I rarely comment upon this site, it is deeply important to me. I will ask for a bit of latitude as I attempt to swallow this most difficult bite and reveal the nature of why I address Hal, this forum, and all its learned members this eve.
My mom passed away unexpectedly in her sleep three days before Thanksgiving. She was an Octogenarian who ardently supported hunting and trapping. Her support for my trapping endeavors began in the spring of my youth when her father would take me to run his Beaver line. She would smile asking me, “Well, did you catch anything?” Then it was the purchase of this new trap and then another with my allowance money as I entered High School. Supportive she was but ever careful to teach me the value of saving equal parts of what I spent. My mother believed strongly that should we ever have another financial Depression that the people who could earn a living off the land would come out on top.
My mom taught me how to recognize every plant, leaf, weed, seed, and tree in the forest. She would quiz me about what certain tracks looked like and how her father could read “sign” and always knew just exactly where to place a trap. She possessed an infinite interest in nature and I am certain I will carry this devotion all my life as well. Her questions about earth anchors, soft catch traps, dog-proof raccoon traps, and double stake swivels, which at the time were all the latest craze, seemed to transcend half of a century of my trapping interest and I like to think she also benefitted from my return dialogue.
Now at 60, my most loyal supporter is gone. I have listened many more hours than I have spoken upon this site. I find an impeccable character in the advice written here and I thank you. The advice I ask of you this eve is different however. I am having difficulty picking up my pack basket and moving forward. An ocean of tears drowns me now and I humbly ask for your guidance in navigating the terrain in front of me.
Posted by: 357cyrus

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/09/19 10:46 AM

As someone who lost my father unexpectedly, maybe I can help in some way.

For this season I wouldnt commit to something that needs day to day attention such as trapping. You'll be on an emotional roller coaster. Also dispatching animals when youre not in a good place mentally would probably take its toll on you.

Go out and witness the things in nature that you mentioned she appreciated. You can do that whitout putting steel in the ground. Get a trail camera out and dig a dirt hole or two. Test some baits or lures for next season. You will be ready by then.
Posted by: Hal

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/09/19 11:12 AM

Do you reckon, by any stretch of the imagination, that your dearly departed mama would want you to stand in one place bawling and not set any traps? Death is something we all get to take a turn at -- eventually.

Go set some traps -- you owe it to her.
Posted by: Mike Conrad

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/09/19 11:09 PM

I am about your age KY, my folks have passed and I remember them saying that when their time came they wanted to be remembered and missed; but that they did not want any of their children or grandchildren to be distraught with grief. And that is what I now wish for mine. I remind the kids and grandkids of my parents and how important and comforting it is to me while I am still here that I know that their lives will continue to be happy and productive.
Posted by: musher

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/10/19 05:08 AM

The goal of any parent is to raise a happy adult that can function in the society they live in. To do so sometimes means making a child unhappy for a while!

It sounds like the outdoors was a big part of your mothers method in the adult creation department. It worked with you so far and it will continue to do so. Keep active, keep busy, remember the good times and forget the bad ones.

All considered, things have turned out nice and normal. Children are supposed to bury their parents. The opposite is a life changing disaster. Mike summed it up nicely while Hal and 357cyrus made some good suggestions as to how to deal with the day to day.

Hang tough. You were taught all you need to deal with this.
Posted by: redsnow

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/10/19 06:14 AM

I'm sorry to hear about Mom. I don't think we've ever talked about this here, but death is a part of life, and I guess everyone deals with it different ways.

Go up and read Brian's comment again. It's almost exactly what I was going to say.

I'll give you the same advice that I have to family and friends for years. You need to keep your mind busy. And keep your body busy. Go out and do something, whatever you enjoy doing. Be careful, but do something.

I'm on the outside looking in, but I'll tell you, if your Mom lived into her 80's healthy, she's lived a good and long life. Very few people are that fortunate. And you've been very fortunate to have had your Mom for 60 years.

Spend time with family and friends, make sure everyone is doing ok, and then you need to get back into your normal routine as soon as you can. Keep your mind busy.
Posted by: KYote

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/24/19 08:13 PM

On this eve I wish you all a joyful time with family & friends. I appreciate your advice and thank everyone who responded for their direction. I would like to especially like to thank Hal, Musher, and Redsnow for their response. I have read your responses for years and appreciate your taking the time to write. Today, a glorious day, as the Beaver surrendered. I have returned to the meadows I am so thankful to trap within.
Posted by: Hal

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/25/19 03:13 PM

Atta boy.
Posted by: Richard2

Re: Asking for your guidance... - 12/28/19 06:39 PM

Well spoken.